Ali Lohan, Lindsay’s 13-year-old littler sister, wrote an email to 24/Sizzler detailing how horrible their absentee dad was and how he’s responsible for Lindsay’s self-esteem issues. She also says that her family is normal that her mom and sister are huge inspirations to her. She writes:
Hi david this is ali lohan, i want everybody to know the truth out there. My mom is a single mom of four children she has always been there for us, she was my mother and father and still is. My father is telling all lies to people and saying he was such a great dad and was always there for us, my father was never there for us, My mom was always there souporting us. i think that the whole reason why my sister is upset with her self and not as cofident, is because of my dad not being around, and always staying out late and not coming home for days, he would come back home never himself, he was always was making excuses for his bad behavior . And would always blame my mother. He just wants everybody in the world knowing that he was a great dad. He wasnt that is all a lie. I just want my sister to stick throught this okay, and my mother and brothers and i are there for my sister 100% and have always been. I’ve wanted to say this for so long and get this out there and let everyone know that our family is like a normal family but of course we are put under a microscope because of lindsays fame, lindsay will be fine she is just going through a rough time right now but she will be fine. i know this for a fact. My sisters is just like a normal sister. her and I have so much in common. My mother and sister are huge insperations to me, they have made it through so much in there lives.
Thankyou for your time god bless, Ali
I’m probably missing the point, but Ali is almost as bad at writing as her older sister. Yeah, she’s only 13, but what the hell is “souporting” or “insperations”? And the fact that she holds her mom and sister up on a pedestal? This chick is screwed. She’d have a brighter future if she referred to her TV as “mom”.
This is a video clip of Holly Hunter getting interviewed by Merry Miller from ABC News. I have no idea who this Merry chick is, but I could go to the DMV and randomly pick out twenty people more qualified to be on TV. Watch the entire thing, and keep in mind this is ABC doing the interview. ABC. That’s very important, because it’ll explain why one of the producers suddenly lets out a giant scream in the background. You could put a cat on a desk and it would conduct a better interview than this. The cat wouldn’t even have to be alive.
TMZ has gotten the 911 tape describing what went down when Lindsay Lohan’s former assistant’s mom called the police. The woman is hysterical, never answering the 911 operator, repeatedly saying that a white GMC is following her, and constantly screaming “Oh my God!” If this woman is one of the witnesses in the case Lindsay might actually get off. The judge would listen to her ramble hysterically for twenty seconds, interrupt her and say, “Let me stop you right there, I think I’ve heard enough,” turn to the bailiff, take out his gun, and shoot the woman in the face. Then he’d give Lindsay an award for dealing with this woman for as long as she did.
You can listen to the 911 tape here, but let me summarize it for you: “Oh my God. Oh my Goooood. Oh my God, what is he doing? Oh my God. Oh my God! Oh my God!!!”
Claire Danes was at MTV Canada yesterday and accidentally flashed her nipple when she bent over while promoting her new movie Stardust. It’s not even just her nipple, her entire breast is basically exposed. Well, assuming you consider that thing a breast. She’s pretty and all, but I’ve owned rulers with more curves than her.
Click the image for the uncensored NSFW version.
Lindsay Lohan checked herself back into rehab today, but not the Promises treatment facility where she just completed her 45 day program. Her attorney issued the following statement:
“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”
It’s probably smart that Lindsay didn’t check back into Promises, since they haven’t managed to help a single person. One of these days somebody is going to do a little research and it’s going to turn out Promises isn’t even a rehab facility, but a used car dealership or something.
NOTE: Check out the woman in the background of this picture. Apparently Lindsay has started befriending actual living cartoon characters.
Adrianne Curry - the winner of the first season of America’s Next Top Model - showed up to the Playboy Mansion for the first annual “HER Luau at the Mansion” (which benefits the Nicole Brown Foundation to stop domestic violence) dressed like this. I don’t know if it’s the fishnet top or the gold bikini, but the whole outfit just exudes class. This must be how royalty dressed in olden times.
Beyonce had a concert in Orlando, Florida last night and totally ate it while trying to walk down the stairs. I mean like head over heels the way they’d fall down in a movie kind of fall. And like a true professional she just pops back up and starts lip-syncing away like nothing happened. I’d blame the convulsing she does afterwards on some sort of head injury, but she was doing that even before she fell.
In the shocker of all shockers, Lindsay Lohan claims she’s innocent and that the cocaine found in her pocket wasn’t hers. She was asked by Access Hollywood if there was anything she wanted to get out there about her arrest and she responded via email:
“Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”
To be fair, I carry around other people’s cocaine in my pockets all the time. Sometimes I even carry it around in my nose. That’s true friendship, man. You wouldn’t even understand. Besides, she was pulled over drunk and driving and carrying drugs in her pocket. The only way she could be any less innocent is if she was also carrying a knife with a severed head attached to it.
I don’t know why, but Paris Hilton was spotted making out with Mischa Barton’s ex, Cisco Adler, at Guy’s karaoke night yesterday. TMZ reports:
A spy spotted Hilton and Mischa Barton’s grungy ex-boyfriend kissing all over each other at the club last night, with Paris going so far as to give Adler a little lap dance. When she wasn’t getting randy in the crowd, Paris graced the stage with a rendition of “Bette Davis Eyes,” followed by a medley of her hit “Stars are Blind.”
In case you’ve forgotten, this is what Cisco Adler looks like. Paris Hilton isn’t exactly the most desirable woman, but even she could do better than Cisco. You could pour some oatmeal on a mop and end up with a better looking man. Probably more human looking genitals too.
After a string of erratic behavior, Kevin Federline reportedly wants sole custody of the kids and is refusing to sign a joint custody agreement with Britney Spears. The Scoop has a roundup of Britney’s recent lunacy:
Spears was recently spotted driving with her younger son Jayden facing forward in his car seat, not backward as federal guidelines require. And earlier this month, he was photographed grabbing his mother’s cigarettes. On July 18, she stripped to her skivvies on a beach in front of photographers and reports of bizarre behavior at an OK! magazine shoot have friends seriously worried about the Toxic singer. Spears wants K-Fed to sign a joint custody agreement, but he’s reportedly refused. “Kevin is convinced she’s not fit to raise the kids,” an insider told the mag. “He’s done tolerating her behavior and is gearing up to fight for full custody.”
I’m not even sure why Britney wants the kids. They seem like they’d just get in her way. Besides, even if she does get custody, sooner or later she’s just going to trade them in for some magic beans. Or regular beans. Or, let’s be serious for a moment, a ham sandwich.
